Two Sides -- One Soul
Página 1 de 2. • Comparte
Página 1 de 2. • 1, 2 
Two Sides -- One Soul
BoohBooh Lun Jun 02, 2014 3:11 am
One minute, you are good. The next minute, you are evil. Two sides cheer the same body, mind, and soul. One half is a white Angel, and the other half is a black angel. She was born with this curse and she has to deal with it. How? How can I control this beast inside of me?
BoohBooh- Messages : 1136
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
CrimsonIzanagi Lun Jun 02, 2014 3:34 am
Can't wait to see what happens Booh! And can't wait to read the first chapter! ^^
CrimsonIzanagi- Messages : 2144
Data de inscrição : 03/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
BoohBooh Lun Jun 02, 2014 3:36 am
You shall see chapter one. ^^ you are awesome with writing! And I can't believe you came here! 
-
BoohBooh - Messages : 1136
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
BoohBooh Lun Jun 02, 2014 3:52 am
Chapter 1
In the morning, a nice shining morning that rarely comes to this land, as it shines into this young girl room.
The girl started to open her eyes slowly, trying to see out of her sleepy eyes as she looked at her clock. It was 7:00 AM in the morning, the girl didn't feel like getting out of bed. But she did anyway.
She got out of her bed as she walked to the bathroom, she took her everyday shower before school.
My name is Celesta Evens, I am 16 years old and going to high school. I have a little secret that no one knows but myself, no one should know about my secret, never.
Celesta got done with her shower, she then got dressed in her school uniform. Celesta then went downstairs for breakfast. My parents died when I was 7, and I have been living on my own ever since that day. I made my self a nice salad sandwich for breakfast, then I started to eat slowly. I hope that today would be different today.
In the morning, a nice shining morning that rarely comes to this land, as it shines into this young girl room.
The girl started to open her eyes slowly, trying to see out of her sleepy eyes as she looked at her clock. It was 7:00 AM in the morning, the girl didn't feel like getting out of bed. But she did anyway.
She got out of her bed as she walked to the bathroom, she took her everyday shower before school.
My name is Celesta Evens, I am 16 years old and going to high school. I have a little secret that no one knows but myself, no one should know about my secret, never.
Celesta got done with her shower, she then got dressed in her school uniform. Celesta then went downstairs for breakfast. My parents died when I was 7, and I have been living on my own ever since that day. I made my self a nice salad sandwich for breakfast, then I started to eat slowly. I hope that today would be different today.
-
BoohBooh - Messages : 1136
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
CrimsonIzanagi Lun Jun 02, 2014 3:55 am
Awesome? Well thanks for the complement though Im not that good. Anyways I like your writing Booh. So why wouldn't I come and comment? ^^
Its very good Booh! Even though you switch tenses. Though if you put the parts where you shift to 'I' or first person parts it will make it look like her thoughts and that should help. ^^
Its very good Booh! Even though you switch tenses. Though if you put the parts where you shift to 'I' or first person parts it will make it look like her thoughts and that should help. ^^
-
CrimsonIzanagi - Messages : 2144
Data de inscrição : 03/03/2014
-
BoohBooh - Messages : 1136
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
Micromeichi Lun Jun 02, 2014 4:07 am
Awesome Booh! Just try to stay in one perspective. Use "My" and "I" or "She" and "Her". My English teacher cracks down on us for that.
Micromeichi- Messages : 1885
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
BoohBooh Lun Jun 02, 2014 4:09 am
Yes I know.. and thank you for the comments.
-
BoohBooh - Messages : 1136
Data de inscrição : 29/03/2014
Re: Two Sides -- One Soul
CrimsonIzanagi Lun Jun 02, 2014 4:11 am
I forgot to mention Italic on my last comment. That way you can shift tense as the Italics would make it your character's thoughts. Then switching tenses is ok. ^^
What my English teacher taught us. XD
What my English teacher taught us. XD
-
CrimsonIzanagi - Messages : 2144
Data de inscrição : 03/03/2014
Página 1 de 2. • 1, 2
Temas similares» Conflictedcolours Role Play Storage
» Soul Eater AXE
» Demon Soul's [PG-13]
» Crimson Izanagi's RP Storage (Do Not Post)
» Soul Eater - Across the Line - Open - START!
» Soul Eater AXE
» Demon Soul's [PG-13]
» Crimson Izanagi's RP Storage (Do Not Post)
» Soul Eater - Across the Line - Open - START!
Página 1 de 2.
Permisos de este foro:
No puedes responder a temas en este foro.|
|
|