Re: Anti Self-Harm Club! Please Join!

lunafae Mar Ago 05, 2014 8:35 pm

Lazybug escribió:
lunafae escribió:Ahh, thank you for allowing me to c:

No thanks needed
I'm glad that you're a recovered self-harmer

thank you hun! I appreciate the support/praise.

Lazybug Mar Ago 05, 2014 9:07 pm

You're very welcome

xSwimmieX Sáb Ago 09, 2014 3:19 pm

I know that this is a self harm club, but I need to get some things off my chest...
Basically, I have no friends in real life. The so-called ones I do have continuously gang up and make fun of me. I've been despising going back after summer hols because of them, and the other people at school. It's simply added negativity for me.

I am not like my family in many ways that they do not understand. To them I'm a sort of 'traitor' for having their eastern ideals mixed with western ones. I feel guilty for having friends who are foreigners because to anyone here at all, anyone who is not an Asian is basically an enemy. And how do they identify the 'enemy'? Pale skin. And I'm pale. Laughing

I'm not religious like them, I listen to music, I draw human figures. I talk back. For all they care I am someone who was basically born in a religious family, but went astray.

Also, on the subject of my family, they want me to be perfect (kindly note that when I say family, I do not mean all of my family). To be a model-thin girl with perfect grades and a bright smile. I'm not that. They aren't supportive of my hobbies. Yes, they did get me a graphic tablet, I won't deny that, but they do not encourage it. I've had to hide it so much as to draw at late night. Whenever I write on my LAPTOP, they assume I'm talking to some stranger on the internet who wants to find my location. -.-

I have no privacy. I literally have none. I can't even choose the room I want to sleep in. They don't even know my interests, and they claim they know me better than I know myself.

And thus, I went into depression. And they don't know that. They literally have no clue that every night I cry myself to sleep and want to die.

And the worst part? When my lovely internet friends make me smile, and begin pulling me out of my depression, I get even more negativity and fall right back into this endless pit.

Hell, the worst part is that I don't even feel anything. It isn't as if I don't feel any emotions at all, quite the opposite, actually. If someone calls me names or insults me, I will cry. Yes. But I won't feel anything. There's this sort of emptiness inside me.

Worst part? This stuff is accepted here. I can't confide this in anyone, because I'll just be labeled as a psycho.

Lazybug Dom Ago 10, 2014 4:01 am

Ranting is fine in this club I'll allow a good rant every once in a while
Everyone needs to rant

I get that on some notes

xSwimmieX Dom Ago 10, 2014 10:12 am

I just feel like I've collapsed >.< and I've been tempted to self-harm...

Lazybug Mar Ago 12, 2014 1:36 am

I've been there but don't be tempted.

Once you scar your skin.
Your depression wins. - Lazybug

lunafae Mar Ago 12, 2014 2:51 am

xSwimmieX escribió:I just feel like I've collapsed >.< and I've been tempted to self-harm...

Don't do it. don't start. I hate to get angsty, but let me just tell you, possibly a bit brashly, that it is a terrible idea. an addiction can only become one if you start it. And if you start this, you'll end up with scars that, even though you know they aren't ugly perse, they're ugly to you because even when the razors have been gone for months, you remember what you did every time you see them. your stomach will do a flip, and you'll have ot shove down guilt and regret while you place a hand or a sleeve or a sock over them, hiding your past. you won't quite be able to tell if you're protecting yourself from the judgment of others, or your own. your life will be a web of lies, an endless cycle of finding anything with sharp edges, hoarding it, and finding every single way to keep it a secret. if you start, you will think the cuts and the blood are beautiful, but later, when they start to heal but don't quite complete the process, you will ache. to put it simply, everything falls out of place every single day of your life.
never, ever, ever start self harming. don't use others wishes for your happiness as an excuse for more sadness. that sounds accusatory, but oh man, I wish someone had been harsh about it with me. do not EVER start. there are tons of alternatives. snapping a rubber band on your wrist, drawing on yourself, running your skin under cold water, etc.
I understand life sucks, but don't ever resort to this nightmare, alright? it will never be enough, and definitely never worth it. this got a bit long and repetitive, but a whoopsie.

Lazybug Mar Ago 12, 2014 6:26 am

This is beautiful

xSwimmieX Mar Ago 12, 2014 8:41 am

@Lunafae- Thank you, I have had friends who did it, and I didn't want to succumb to it. Thank you for your advice. :>

That's lovely

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